Update on my life currently

gay, gay, gay... my CT is a idiot and my english teacher cant teach. it pisses me off, like...legit and the teacher running detention is the biggest dinosaur since they were made extinct. School is just some piss awful thing that i have to go to 5 days a week. I used to like it. Now i think that the shit we are taught in class is just pure crap, i wont need any of it once i graduate. 

With school aside, because even the thought of it pisses me off... life has been ok to me.

Gene and i are almost official and i feel really lucky to be with some one like him. He supports me so much, and i support him. He is gnna be my tutor ><* . I like him so much gagagaga, he took me to the botanical gardens for a date last week and we talked for hours and held hands and...other things fufu. Nice as pie guy, and he knows im a christian and he is cool with the fact i go to church and love god : |) 

im just scared of mell -o-

10 reasons why my life sucks

1. Computers hate me. I worked really hard on my CT video project, and typically, things went wrong and i got detention for not being able to hand it in .

2. My mom is back from australia and this ='s irritation and makes me want to run away to the furthest most hidden place on the earth so i can have some peace

3. Im dating a guy i really like and the mother ****** hasnt made things  official yet and im on edge...legit

4.My bff's boyfriend confessed he was gay and now i have to support her because of his lousy gay-ness..

5. i have gained a ton of weight from stress eating and looking in the mirror makes me wanna barf -.-* i should go to a ugly home and die

6. ima dumb shit and will probably fail yr 10 due to my dumbness

7. Maria stood on a stone fish....wtf..

8. mom bought me new bra's and they make my boobs look massive.. iwannastrapthemdown! 

9. cant go to youth because my life is exceptionally busy

10. life is just one hurl of wtf and random hell that ruin all the good things

forgive me blog, agian, i have made you unloved

                                           i see a theme here! lol anytime im sad or bored a blog :) not a bad passtime it think :P

so much has happened in the last few weeks. For one, i like gene and he likes me back :P we have a date next saturday at the botanical gardens :D im not sure what i would say if he was to ask me to be his girlfriend. One thing that made me fell REALLY happy is that he is willing to come to church with me of we do have a BGR. I really like him, he is so considerate of my feelings and he really makes me laugh. I dont have to change myself for him and he doesnt have to change for me! 

One thing that is really affecting me is that one of my friends confessed they like me. And she is a girl and she is my best friend... im cool with it and she knows that our relationship will never go any further, but i really care for hurt and dont want her to hurt to badly. After all she is such a amazing friend to me :) 

im improving in my math grades thank god! i was really freaking out for a while! haha 

my relationship with god is growing closer.  I talk to him about gene alot. Seeing what he thinks about things. He will support me, as long as i know the dangers and risks but i know he has put me there for a purpose, so i will pursue it. 

Mom has gone to australia for two weeks. She left yesterday and now i am stuck with dad. Iv been invited to a few parties, but i said no. Even though i wouldnt drink, i dont want to push my luck to far. Mom has been so supportive about gene, its been so great! im thinking of inviting him over to play board games with me :P thats one thing i love about gene, he still loves board games! Gene has made a promise to not push me to go to parties with him. And he is trying to drink less when he goes out. After a party that ended bad for him, he has seen the problems with achohol. :) 

Sid stalks me! lol he keeps calling me and talking to me. I just ignore it all now, i know that i am better than his mind games and i know that i can eventually stop talking with him. Sid is a really great guy, he is. He is sensitive and considerate but he is a player, and his ocd with girls, getting laid and partying makes him repel all the nice people. I sometimes wish that he would be a little more nomal sometimes

well back to work for me, ill update later PROMISE! 

open my eyes to the great lemon pies

sitting in CT class right now. Nothing more exciting than writing a Gant Chart plan for my video. Its so boring, i really dont like the design cycle that much. Life has been pretty good latley. Been talking to Gene alot. He understands that i dont want to date him, and he is so cool with it! he is such a good friend, i had the funniest convosation with him on facebook last night. I really want to see him before he goes on his Interim to hong kong. Lucky duck! 

Been talking to sid, alot. He has been calling me and texting me everyday. Its so nice to have a good old chatta with him. He asked me out but i said no. I have to say though, its the first time in my life that guys are actually starting to pay attention to me not just as a friend. It feels nice. and it feels even nicer to be able to turn around and say no, i feel like i have controlover my life, control over my heart. 

I have to write my OWE tonight. Its so boring and hard to write. But Gene said he will help me out with ideas. The girls volleyball game is today at the Swiss club. Im not playing but mom said that i can go along and support my friends. We are going to loose but still, its fun to watch and play with eachother. I cant wait until mr walker is back! im so happy he made a full recovery! 

going out on friday again. Its all us girls and a few guys, sid is coming, fancy that lol. Its going to be a pool party and me and tori are going to buy stuff on friday before everyone turns up. She wants to buy a b*a for me. And i think its a little weird that she is buying me one. But its so nice that she wants me to feel pretty. She is my best friend. I really dont know what i would do without her! 

BEST WEEKEND EVER! For the win!

had the best weekend of my life in singapore LEGIT! 

FRIDAY

friday was a pretty cool day at school. Did nothing. Talked alot. Tori jumped me.

Spanish detention was canceled for my friends so we went out straight away. Went to cheryl's. Big house! ate little corneto things. Went to taka. ate maccas chicken burger tasted like heaven. Met izzie, izzie loves meh :) . Sat around for ages waiting for dylan. waited.waited.waited.waited. Dylan showed up. Attacked Cheryl. Got red bull. went hyper. turned up @ sids.

AND THE NIGHT STARTED

sid is so nice, love him to bits. So indian oh gosh he is so indian! lol really funny guy, little perverted but dude, look past it. Sat around and attacked eachother. Alot of girls sitting around. A very happy Sid. Walked with cheryl, sid and this other guy that sid is mates with. 3 very big dogs and a really pretty night. i cuddled cheryl so much.

Dylan and Milly mysteriously dissapear. No one cares lol. hang around. Sid makes jokes about tori's b**b and i fall over. Get a call from Dylan saying omfg come to cheryls house NOW. We ditch sid. sid is sad. sid decides i am awsome and gets my number -.-*. Go to cheryls. and find . MATT AND MIKE! the coolest twins on earth. Hang with them, chat, attack, laugh, get tired. Go upstairs. sleep with cheryl and maria and have a good night rest.

SATA

cheryl me milly dylan and maria have toster strudel for breakfast om nom. NOM NOM. get dressed. Do tiny chat on twitter. Go to my place. Eat chicken wraps. Go to church. Meet with ellie. Love church. Eat pasta. buy choc. Go home. Cant go out T.t missed seeing sid. Its ok because i can see him again this friday! 

SUNDA

rents ditch me. Hang at home. finish my dress. take pics. sleep. finish hw. Chat with sid. chat with gene. skype with gene o.o. lots of fun. mom comes home. watch movie play game. sleeeep

WEEKENDS ARE SO MUCH FUN WITH FRIEEENDS! 

birthday in 15 days -.-

adolescence

i laugh at the world, i laugh at teenagers, i in particular laugh at guys. They can be so into you at one moment, and couldnt care less about you the next. Its age i suppose, but still, its such a pain to understand what is really going through peoples mind. Gene was so into me, Dylan so wanted us together. I didnt want it to happen and all it took was me not caring less and now they arnt at all fussed and Gene couldnt care less about me. Im not sad, im happy, estatic to have my male free carefree life back. Its comfortable and quiet and i dont have to worry to much about pleasing people to no end. 

This blog is just a update on that front. And i owe so much thanks to mell and her abusive behavior :) 

mind boggling

dylan came on friday, but she left right after dinner. Leaving me alone with Gene, its not the fact that it was just me and Gene that bothered me. It was the fact that she left. That she herself, would rather spend time with guys she hasn't met before, than hang out with me. It seems like her priorities are shit..

Anyways, i suppose that you cant really call it "hanging out" anymore. Me and Gene saw a movie that was based in the 1950's. I didnt say that it was my fav time in history, i was worried he would think i live in the past, just consider how i dress! haha. Well, the movie had been going on for about 15 mins and i was freezing so i bit my tounge to stop me from shivering. Then gene edged his hand closer to mine.. i did nothing, he did it again, i did nothing, then he just took my hand haha. I kinda looked at him and smiled, but then i though, hey Dylan knew that he would do this, what other things was she planning! Later on in the movie he put his arm around me. I knew what that ment, you know the "arm around girl, hold close, girl leans on guys chest, looks up and then guy kisses" im not that naive. So i just didnt lean on him. mwaha point one to the pie master! for the rest of the movie he held my hand, i was cool with that.. hands are just hands i guess.

We caught the mrt home together, he is really nice, good personality, friendly, computer person ( -.-) but generally he is someone i can get along with. But when i told mell, she was so cross, she scolded me man. What am i ment to do! i guess, i wouldnt go out with gene, but i want to hang out with him. He isnt as bad as he seems.

Dylan on the other hand, she broke my trust because she would rather spend time with guys, she also wants gene and i together, so yeh, its a little unfair and im going to talk to her so that i can tell her that whatever happens will go at my own pace and not hers.