forgive me blog, agian, i have made you unloved

                                           i see a theme here! lol anytime im sad or bored a blog :) not a bad passtime it think :P

so much has happened in the last few weeks. For one, i like gene and he likes me back :P we have a date next saturday at the botanical gardens :D im not sure what i would say if he was to ask me to be his girlfriend. One thing that made me fell REALLY happy is that he is willing to come to church with me of we do have a BGR. I really like him, he is so considerate of my feelings and he really makes me laugh. I dont have to change myself for him and he doesnt have to change for me! 

One thing that is really affecting me is that one of my friends confessed they like me. And she is a girl and she is my best friend... im cool with it and she knows that our relationship will never go any further, but i really care for hurt and dont want her to hurt to badly. After all she is such a amazing friend to me :) 

im improving in my math grades thank god! i was really freaking out for a while! haha 

my relationship with god is growing closer.  I talk to him about gene alot. Seeing what he thinks about things. He will support me, as long as i know the dangers and risks but i know he has put me there for a purpose, so i will pursue it. 

Mom has gone to australia for two weeks. She left yesterday and now i am stuck with dad. Iv been invited to a few parties, but i said no. Even though i wouldnt drink, i dont want to push my luck to far. Mom has been so supportive about gene, its been so great! im thinking of inviting him over to play board games with me :P thats one thing i love about gene, he still loves board games! Gene has made a promise to not push me to go to parties with him. And he is trying to drink less when he goes out. After a party that ended bad for him, he has seen the problems with achohol. :) 

Sid stalks me! lol he keeps calling me and talking to me. I just ignore it all now, i know that i am better than his mind games and i know that i can eventually stop talking with him. Sid is a really great guy, he is. He is sensitive and considerate but he is a player, and his ocd with girls, getting laid and partying makes him repel all the nice people. I sometimes wish that he would be a little more nomal sometimes

well back to work for me, ill update later PROMISE! 

open my eyes to the great lemon pies

sitting in CT class right now. Nothing more exciting than writing a Gant Chart plan for my video. Its so boring, i really dont like the design cycle that much. Life has been pretty good latley. Been talking to Gene alot. He understands that i dont want to date him, and he is so cool with it! he is such a good friend, i had the funniest convosation with him on facebook last night. I really want to see him before he goes on his Interim to hong kong. Lucky duck! 

Been talking to sid, alot. He has been calling me and texting me everyday. Its so nice to have a good old chatta with him. He asked me out but i said no. I have to say though, its the first time in my life that guys are actually starting to pay attention to me not just as a friend. It feels nice. and it feels even nicer to be able to turn around and say no, i feel like i have controlover my life, control over my heart. 

I have to write my OWE tonight. Its so boring and hard to write. But Gene said he will help me out with ideas. The girls volleyball game is today at the Swiss club. Im not playing but mom said that i can go along and support my friends. We are going to loose but still, its fun to watch and play with eachother. I cant wait until mr walker is back! im so happy he made a full recovery! 

going out on friday again. Its all us girls and a few guys, sid is coming, fancy that lol. Its going to be a pool party and me and tori are going to buy stuff on friday before everyone turns up. She wants to buy a b*a for me. And i think its a little weird that she is buying me one. But its so nice that she wants me to feel pretty. She is my best friend. I really dont know what i would do without her!